Connecting to Each Other: How to Practice Silence Part 3
We all know this: finding and capturing silence these days is extremely difficult. We live in our culture — noisy, filled with distractions. It is a commodified culture that values things over people and nature. In the past, it was a bit easier. Now we have to be intentional and deliberate and choose to practice finding silence.
Do not be discouraged. There are many ways to practice silence and many ways to capture silence in our lives. Let’s explore some of these techniques.
A walk taken in nature is an easy and often ready way to capture or practice silence. While you walk, notice silence around the stillness of the trees, or wind rushing through their leaves and branches. Capture the silence right after an owl hoot, a bird chirps, or the creaks of trees swaying in the wind. Notice the different texture of silence in a forest as opposed to that on a beach or lake.
You can capture silence on a city street. Amidst the hustle and bustle of people going to work and starting their day, the light reflecting off of buildings, you can experience the silence in the warmth of the sun or the coolness of a breeze. Remember silence is not the absence of actual sound nor is silence empty. We would do well to remember the words of Gordon Hampton,
“Silence is not the absence of something but the presence of everything . . . It is the presence of time, undisturbed. It can be felt within the chest. Silence nurtures our nature, our human nature, and lets us know who we are. Left with a more receptive mind and a more attuned ear, we become better listeners not only to nature but to each other. Silence can be carried like embers from a fire. Silence can be found, and silence can find you. Silence can be lost and also recovered. But silence cannot be imagined, although most people think so. To experience the soul-swelling wonder of silence, you must hear it.”
Silence is an active presence that heals, nurtures, and gives birth to something new. Mr. Hampton describes silence as scouring sand, “When you are quiet, the silence blows against your mind and etches away everything that is soft and unimportant.”
Conceptualizing and thinking about silence in this way allows us to grab hold of silence in a relationship, in a conversation with another person. Most of the time in conversations we listen to a person waiting for them to shut up so we can say what’s on our mind. Many times, I find myself composing what I want to say in response while a person I am supposed to be listening to is talking. Notice the silence that comes when we give up creating what we want to say and listen to the words and sounds in expressions that come from the other human being. Notice how this silence can transform the conversation and the relationship.
Silence can be found in the gap between sentences or words in a book or between the notes in the musical score. My favorite is the space between the two sentences can be found in the book of the prophet Isaiah. Sentence one states: “for a brief moment I abandon you . . . .” Sentence two states: “but now I take you back.” The silence between these two sentences is pregnant with longing, hope, fear, anticipation, and surrender. I experience this silence by taking time and space when I read. I don’t rush. Taking time with the silence so I can take in all of the meaning of those two sentences.
Find silence each day by sitting still at the same time each morning right after you wake up. Just sit and let go of all thoughts. It doesn’t matter if the thoughts come back; this is natural for human beings. There is no need to fret or become frustrated, just acknowledge them and brush them away each time. Practice this silence for a month and you will notice things changing. You become more aware of your body planted on the earth. You will feel the sensations, and feel your bones firmly supporting you on the earth. Notice the different kinds of silence in the morning as the sun comes up versus in the evening as the sun goes down. Remember silence has many different currents and rhythms flow and vibrations.
Pay attention to silence as it is wrapped around your body in these different currents and rhythms. For example, notice silence as it comes up against your shoulder then notice silence within your body, and then within your heart notice how silence feels different inside you versus outside you. Yet it is the same silence that permeates through you through others and throughout the whole universe. Imagine for a moment how silence could change the inner life in the perspective of an astronaut viewing the earth from outer space.
Finally, death can reveal profound silence. I remember when my brother-in-law passed away many years ago. I was in his room talking with my sister. Suddenly there was this incredibly profound silence that gently enveloped the room. We looked and noticed that my brother-in-law had breathed his last breath. I can still feel that profound and comforting silence today. This silence has positively influenced how I go about my day-to-day life. It is a gift.
One way to truly find silence is simply to notice a person, any person. Notice that each person embodies a profound silence. Notice that when that person passes they are embodied with silence that is pregnant with purpose, meaning, spirit – that silence gives birth to a sacred unity with all of life in all its forms.
We have but a short time on this earth. We can become more connected to nature, other human beings, and nature itself by practicing and finding silence in our everyday journeys. Why wait to begin healing ourselves and our connection with others. Embrace it and share it today.
Be well,
Bill